A Summer.

June 23, 12:50 AM
So I tried to take myself to somewhere where the silence was less painful, somewhere where many, more things than me were lost.

June 23, 12:52 AM
I cannot see the situations clearly, cannot say it doesn't matter.

July 4, 3:22 AM
It's a lie. You are real. I know. I shop and light up and talk to people. How could I be a fake? Unless they are all false and I am the only right? The only real? See: hubris.

July 10, 12:23 AM
I just want to write a beautiful story about someone like me dying. Maybe then my death, or my eventual descent into darkness, will be worth something.

July 10, 12:24 AM
Can block it out can block it all out with a song that flies enough to take my mind along with it

July 13, 7:46 AM
I am hungry. I am tried. I am missing him, and I just want to fly into different, better skin.

July 20, 12:59 AM
When you watch something over and over, you will eventually learn it or imitate what you see at the very least. In this case, the drug stimulates/unlocks whatever the hell those pathways are called (ask k) and helps you better imitate successful behavior. Also, where are the memories stored in the brain? Ask Emma. Are the two related at all ornear each other?

July 20, 1:10 AM
Because here's the thing. If it's all true. If the world is falling apart and in three years we're all going to be looting for food and killing each other over a gallon of gas. Then let's just live. Let's enrich our lives, through other sources and through each other. Let's let the little things slide. Let's drink and dance and play and fuck. Let's fuck a lot. Let's relax and do nothing together some days, because we can. Basically, let's make each other happy. Because if the past was wrong and the future will be worse, there is nothing more important than every single now in between, than sucking the last delicious drop from each second. And I want you, baby. I want you to help me drink.

July 23, 9:35 AM
I want your lips and tongue skating up and down my neck. I want you to throw me around until I'm dizzy, like the first time. And in return, let me care for you, in whatever way I can.

July 23, 9:37 AM
I present myself humbly here, as humbly as I can without being thrown off. And honestly, too, despite the possiblity of a similar outcome.

July 29, 11:36 PM
End it,open ended. She dies so they can extract the strain. In anyone else, it could take years for it to develop to that extent. Have to work on the logistics of that. Could work, could not. Dave gets mad, but it's still hopeful ensuing

August 26, 4:15 AM
I always do something wrong. Always. And that is why I'm alone. Probably. Left alone. Maybe I should live in portland. Maybe...i don't even know.

August 26, 4:20 AM
I hate failing. And he always makes it so clear when I have. Simple motives. I want to make people happy and I want them to love me back and hug me and hold me and see that deeply hurting part at the center of me and want to cradle it in their hands. God, I long for it. Because I'll give so much. I'll give every meager possession, all of me, as much as you want. If you just love me. If you just keep me safe inside your arms. That's all I want, is a hearth fire. A home inside of your chest.

August 30, 12:40 AM
God. Why couldn't I have known you before? Why couldn't I have known you before whatever fire in your center was extinguished? Before your voice deepened to bass with a single, threatening tone? Before the muscle fell on top of your bones in preparation for a collapsing world? I would have rather had you young and stupid with raw anger than stolid, assessing and cold.